5 Stages of Personal Development and Growth – #2 Outcome

In the first part of Dr Tom Barber’s interview on Radio WorksWorld, he introduced the first stage of personal development and growth, which was getting in touch with your Potential – discovering what your current potential is; what your capabilities are, and unlocking you to more of what you are able to become.

To read Part 1 Click Here. Remember to subscribe below to get notification of further parts as they are released.

Part 2 – Tom continues with the importance of developing an Outcome …

“If you don’t know really where you’re going then you’ll end up somewhere, but you might not have really wanted to get there, because you never had a plan. You never really devised an outcome of what you wanted.

It reminds me of this wonderful piece from Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland where Alice meets the Cheshire Cat. She says, “Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here?” (She’s on the road) The cat says, “Well, that depends a good deal on where you want to get to.” Alice says, “I don’t really care too much where.” The Cheshire Cat then says, “Then it doesn’t really matter which way you go.”

So, it’s a wonderful analogy really of, if you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t really matter what you do. So, it’s important to have an outcome. An outcome is the next step in our programme. We wanted really to connect people with a plan.

This is one of the things that gets so often overlooked in therapy and coaching. Unless you have a goal, then you’re not exciting the mind at a variety of levels, you’re not exciting the conscious, the unconscious, the subconscious mind as to really why you should do anything.

Human beings can be quite lazy at a psychological level. So, it’s really important that we have a set outcome that we want to achieve, because you need to know what you want in life, right?

You need to know what you want to experience and how you want to be. Otherwise, that change and growth isn’t going to happen. Something is going to happen, but this will enable you to choose what that is. When you have a defined outcome of what matters to you and what you want, then you can choose. You can have a life of choice. That creates certainty.

You know, I’m sure you listeners have heard Tony Robbins talk about the importance of certainty, and that we know how things are. That certainty really helps us feel sure. It helps us feel alive.

In the same way, we also need a degree of uncertainty, but in a sense, we want to connect with an excitement of where we’re going, not an excitement of not knowing what on earth is going to happen. So, essentially, the defining of the outcome really helps people get to know what their sense of success is as well, and happiness.

I speak to so many people and say, “So, what do you want?” They say, “Well, I want to be happy.” “Well, what is that?”

I’ve learned something certainly over the last few years. Happiness and success for people are very, very different things. They are very unique things. They are very personal things. I’ve met people doing day jobs that some would consider to be an awful job, but you know what? They’re incredibly happy doing it. For them, this is success.

So, it’s really defining what matters to you and what’s important for you to achieve, and what you want to do with your life. Until you have an outcome you are shooting around in the dark.

So that, with the people we worked with, really set them up for some … for the ability, then, to tap into what was possible. They got connected with what their potential was. They decided and started to work on what outcome they wanted in life, and in a way this kind of opens you up to having more of a trust in yourself."

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In the meantime, consider what kind of outcome you want to achieve in the areas of your life you want to improve.

Complete this exercise: Take a piece of paper and a pen, draw a vertical line from top to bottom down the middle of the page. Head the left-hand column “I want …” and the right-hand column “I don’t want …”

Write as many ‘wants’ and ’don’t wants’ as you can in each column. Often it is far more familiar to know what you don’t want, but remember, focussing on what you don’t want is where you are pointing your energy. So, fill up each column as much as you can, but make sure you work hard on your 'wants'.

Getting this kind of clarity is key to your personal growth.

Until next time, and the next stage, 'Uncoverng your inner Wisdom' …

Tom.

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Originally posted 2017-02-05 14:42:28.

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Tom Barber is a Founder and Director of Contemporary College of Therapeutic Studies. He runs workshops and lectures across the world in a variety of psychological approaches. He is a bestselling author of 4 books and maintains a private practice in London and Essex.

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